We have recently had a comment suggesting improvements to the post on “How to put up a shelf – Farming style”. This is impossible, if you improve the technique it would not be Farming style. This suggests to me that word of explanation about “Farming style “ may be needed. The main aim of the farmer is to not waste money, to this end only tools and techniques that have been handed down through the generations can be used. The basic techniques are: hit it, hit it harder, bind it together with bailer twine.
The basic tool kit, found on all farms comprises:
- Pitch fork with bent tines – for all levering and prying operations
- Large pipe wrench – universal spanner, also handy for bashing in screws.
- Six inch nails – for joining timber or anything to timber, also improvised lynch pin, shear bolt etc.
- Club hammer – used to insert nails, screws etc. also for making fine adjustments to delicate machinary
- Bailer twine – for those rare occasions when 6” nails don’t work
- Improbably large screwdriver – mainly used as a chisel, could be used as a screwdriver if you can’t find the lump hammer or pipe wrench.
- Shovel with broken handle, works best if encrusted with rust/cement – largely decorative I assume, but ever present!
- Broom with few bristles and loose handle – essential and ever present though no-one can quite remember why, possibly for use with above
- Chain saw – for all cutting work; logs, plywood, fingers etc.
Some more progressive farmers will also have Duck tape in their tool kit but this is considered a bit too modern for most. The only other materials allowed are those that can readily be found lying around the farm or cannibalised from old machinery.
I hope this has cleared up why you cannot use such advanced techniques as “measure the wall’s thickness” or such exotic materials as “three inch nails”
More of Rupert’s adventures coming soon!
I stand abashed and corrected. My only excuse is, I must have watched too many episodes of “Darlin’ Buds of May” and have been deceived into thinking there was an element of veracity in the programme, especially when I saw them use a fully bristled broom to sweep the yard. I should have known then that yards don’t get swept, Why waste valuable time sweeping up when it’s just as easy to walk the mess indoors? Yours in Remorse.
I myself have been pulled up about this comment. An authoratitive source tells me that most modern farm actually have a range of pipe wrenches rather than just the one. You are quite correct about walking the mess indoors , however. Luckly the cleaning fairy makes the dirt mysteriously disappear! Altenativly, buy shagpile carpets and you will never notice the dirt.